Must get moving

Sitting..... Not often I get to do that lately.

Time for sitting was up 20 mins ago... Must get moving

Back at the hospital

So here we are again....I'm over this. So over it, its not funny. Trouble is I also know that we have nothing to complain about compared to others.

Drew doesn't have cancer. He has all his limbs. He can see - just - but he can see. He can hear and he's not mentally incapacitated....in fact to look at him you'd just think he was a bit tired. Worn down. He's not dying in the near future. But still we have all these minor crappy health issues that add up.

I'm over being hopeless. There's nothing we can do but I'm over that too.

Most importantly I'm so over feeling guilty!!! I cant be everything to everyone. I just can't. I can't fix drew's health and I can't be in more than one place at a time.

And I'm sorry I ask you to give me a helping hand my good friends - believe me I'm trying to spread that load but I just don't have enough friends to spread it out any further.

God. I think its time you forgave me and just started helping me out. Do it for all those who have been helping out. They deserve your love even if you think I don't.

The stress of it

Yesterday I was standing with butterflys churning enough to make butter in my belly watching Sam trial for under15s representative netball.

In the end she didnt do too badly...in fact I think she's in with a chance. Provided that is that politics stay out of it. Hard for that though. Politics rule some, if not all, kids sporting clubs from our experience. Which sucks!! It shouldn't matter who you are or how good you play your choosen sport as a kid - after all there are no sheep stations to win - kids should not be discriminated against or be unfairly judged simply because they (or you as the parent) are not in the 'in' crowd!

A grown up dinner for teenagers

So here I am completly out of place having dinner with my beautiful teenage daughter and her friends... Why I hear you ask have I crashed such an affair.  particularly it being her first.

Its not by choice. I fact I really didnt want to come but she was so adamant that she wanted me to come along.

Get this. She said she wanted her best friend to be there. How sweet! Personal I think she needed her security blanket which I'm ok with too.

I'm so lucky to have this type of relationship with my daughter. Hopefully we can keep it forever more.

At work.

You know its bad when you're finally back at work after weeks of leave and you just don't want to be there.

Of course half the problem is I really should be at home caring for my hubby rather than leaving it for my friends to do for me. Its never easy working fulltime with a family.. If only I could split myself in two to do both jobs so I'm not letting anyone down!

Think I need a holidays from my life....

Life throwing curveballs

Am at home for a few days as need to care for hubby who underwent operation to regain some vision.... I do like the slower pace of being at home but I worry that so much time off and so many home conflicting priorities will give a poor impression at work.

I asked for some home based work until things settle. Its hard because I've been working toward a promotion and now feel I'm a huge step back just when we as a family need it the most.

They don't seem keen on the home based option and instead sent me an expression of interest for the promotion. I have to put in for it as it will be used for all acting positions for the year.

Now I'm an enternal optimist and I not only hope that they choose me for this stint of acting in the higher paid role but that I can accept it cause hubby recovers much much quicker than originally anticipated... Which is possible given he's already started to regain some vision in one eye....

Given our history... No. I'm not going there. Ill stay with the optimist slant!

Surely life is out of curveballs by now!