Out shopping

Shopping.....I never do understand the pull and attraction of walking around endlessly looking at anything and everything just for the entertainment value... I'm not a shopper.

IT Savvy!

Ok. So here I am. I have worked it out. I am blogging from my mobile phone...

random old unpublished post - Until now.

Random picture hey?

 I like this type of picture - you could come up with all sorts of things to say - i cant think of much at the moment but hey....



OK so Time is a Major Factor

Its interesting that I started this blog over the summer holidays and for a while was quite good at getting online and typing something  - granted nothing really interesting. Nothing I have typed here is all that interesting ... but then again that was not the goal.  - and here I am trying desperately hard to reinvigorate this activity and its the summer holidays!! Of course I think I can be excused for 2012. The summer holidays were disastrous in 2012. The last week of school, Sam (the second eldest or eldest which ever way you want to look at it), came off a horse and underwent some surgery to fix the gaping hole in her side... and then she had to rest up and keep off her fractured hip... basically that was the beginning... actually no it wasn't the beginning... if I remember correctly that was the third thing cause I remember saying "oh well that's three now so its the end of the bad times"..... how wrong was I!!  

Anyway my point is that it has occurred to me that I only tend to be able to add to this when i have time ...over the summer holidays...

I'll be working on that... just as  I've started working on taking time for myself. Now that the kids are older I feel able to get out and catch up with my friends without having to take the kids and they can fend for themselves ( and their little sister) for an hour. We're still in early days of this but I think I can make that work...

 If only I could make the Blogger app work too, that would help as getting onto a computer for this has also proved hard the last few days.... Clearly I have not yet met one of the original goals - to become more tech savvy.... I'll keep working on that on!

OMG Its 2013!!

Well, well, well... its been quite a while. 2012 was such a cr$%p year. Anything that could go wrong (almost) did go wrong. If i put it on here - I'd be here all night and quite frankly I couldn't be bothered. The main point is that 2012 is over and done with and its in the past. I am hoping to come back to this however also need to be practical and accept that taking on a post grad degree this year is probably enough already... anyway i hope to continue the blog - no one follows me or reads this anyway so its just for me. to write what i want and get it off my chest or outta my head. within reason - I'm very much aware of the vices of blogs and the internet in general. so in short i'll keep adding ( or plan too) but i'm not promising it to be interesting.

Time Flies

WOW! its been a while.. a looong while. I've been busy, life has caught me up... there's a thousand excuses I could use, most of which would be true. To be perfectly honest though - I lost the URL location of my blog (so much for becoming IT savvy!!) and I guess I lost a bit of interest and motivation too. Its a bit hard to maintain interest when I know that no one actully reads this anyway...but just in case....

I've struggled with staying positive and its only just now that I think I'm really beginning to kick the butt of some of the internal demons I've been carrying this year. Boy oh Boy 2011 has been tough! Its been a year of lots of personal development and of lots of lows oviously sprinkled with a few highs to set me up for the lows that followed but mostly low moments that I've needed to work through. Hopefully there's been some personal growth with all that - and I mean personal growth that not just I think I can see, but some growth that others can see in me too.

I've had some great support, but I've also identified that some support networks which I thought were always going to be there were not as strong as I'd relied on in the past. As human beings we change. And it is only our absolutely closest friends and loved ones - those who dont judge us on what we do  or who we are, but rather on the friendships or bonds we have with them - that will stick by us when that change happens.

I'd like to Thank my supporters for being there even when I do my absolute best to push you away in a moment of weakness and self doubt. Thank you!

Attempting to Change my Outlook

yes it has been a few weeks. I'm still coughing and still not feeling the greatest. I've been keeping a low profile everywhere and my head has been so screwed up.... excuses I know but I also dont care. 

What to write about now I am here, I'm really not sure..... I cant or rather wont write publically about the things I've been thinking about..... the reason my head is so screwed up. Its too personal to share.

I would like to say on a completly unrelated track that Life sucks sometimes. Why is that the good people get the crappy things and the ones who make others peoples lives crap dont fair so badly?

I know its sounds like such a horrible thing to say but I think having cancer or something that can be treated and cured with treatment is far better than having a genetic thing that has no cure or a non self imposed condition that gets worse with time and can not be reversed.

Here I have been all screwed up in the head and in reality my crap is minor in comparison. It all non consequential compared to the battles that others face.

I'm trying to see some positives; but at this point - I just cant. I need too. I need to focus on the positives in life far more and lately I haven't been. I've been wasting my time on the negatives and they have overwhelmed me... comsumed me even. How do I change my nature. How do I turn a negative outlook on life into a positive one?

Life is way too short. Its time for me to change so I make the most of it.