Today my eldest (birthchild) turns 13! She has always been the one with the most attitude. In fact this attitude started when she was only two. She's been turning 13 for a long time now. lol
For example, at two and three, she would wear only what she wanted, if I dressed her in something else she'd go in and change it. As she got older it would be demonstrated in other ways, at approximately 8, she used to slam doors when she was upset with us or after she'd gotten into trouble and stormed off to her room. The door slamming stopped when one day we removed the door from its hinges. It sat in the hallway for about a week but once it went back up she's never slammed the door quite the same way or with such force. It was mean but very effective.
Hopefully the experiences with this 13 year old will be better than those with the stepchild. He was a good kid, but the undermining of the relationship by the mother made some things hell. It was not his fault and I perfectly understand... but this is using hindsight. At the time I didn't have that benefit and given he'd only started living with us a few months prior we were all still adjusting.
One good thing out of the birthday for today is my mother rang. My mother rang!! What's better is she not only wished the child happy birthday but then wanted to speak to me too. We spoke for a little while, she updated me on her move back to hometown, which isn't go quite as smoothly as she'd thought it should but then again thats's life... and the one thing my mother can do is start over from scratch. She's done it plenty of times. As a child we were always moving about, new towns not just new houses. Its probably why - a) I've never fitted in with my peers because I was always the new kid and b) I'm so resilent to change now.
The 13 year old lost her best friend to a move to a different town at the end of the school year. It was the first best friend she'd really had so I have been a bit worried. Throughout primary school my new 13 year old flitted between the various groups with no real attachment, then in Year 7 went to a school out of area where she knew only a handful of the kids. She met this wonderful little girl and they were inseparable all year. Now going into Year 8, its almost like she has to start over. Today she's off to the movies with a group of girls from her school and one we still have contact with from primary school.
She hasn't maintained a lot of the friendships from primary school like I had hoped she would but she sees them around. She's too shy to go up and start a conversation but I'm hoping that being 13 starts to change that. That she starts to come into her own and develops the confidence to know that other people DO like her. When it comes to the confidence genes, I don't want her anything like me.
Oh to be 13 again and to have the opportunties my daughter will have - she's even off on an overseas trip in April with a school exchange program. That should give her a fair amount of confidence I suspect... or at least I hope. Unless of course I pull the plug, what kind of mother am I letting my 13 year old travel overseas without us. She's only just turned 13!
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