New Year Resolution's Accountability

I make a new year's resolution every year, and mostly I keep them. This year I made a really hard one. I don't want to mess this one up because it's probably the most important one I've made to date.

For instance a few years ago now, I decided that for the entire year I would not eat even so much as a smartie of chocolate. Before this I, like every other woman, had to eat chocolate "like" 30 times a week or 5 times each and every day. I was a chocoholic! I did it though. I really dont know how - but I did it. I achieved what I thought then as the impossible. I went without chocolate for an entire year. Now I can give or take it... without having to eat it all. (Yes that was a pun)

I have always struggled with having confidence in myself. I've never thought myself worthy and have strived to impress everyone around me with what I know. I'm not a know it all and I don't show off - I'm not that smart and wouldn't want to slip up, but I give my opinions and can make a pretty good argument for them. People say I'm intelligent.

I always worry that my choices will be wrong or my work won't be what's required. That people will think badly of me if I stuff up. This year my New year resolution is to start having the confidence in myself to do anything and to care less about what people think. Its been the second part - what people might think - that has held me back and helped to compound my lack of confidence in myself.

Well no more!

This year I'm going to do something else too. I've been talking (mainly thinking) about doing it for the past 6-8 years or so...... so this year I'm going to do it! It's a confidence thing too and I think doing it will build my confidence and if it dosen't then I'll chalk it up to experience.

I'm going to finally pluck up the courage to jump out of a perfectly good plane to feel the exhileration of falling fast to the ground before pulling a cord which will allow me to safely float the rest of the way.

And now that I've said it here I have to do it. That's what this blog is all about. Wish me luck but please don't say "break a leg"!